Ah hell.

When we spotted this note posted on Crazy Mary's door yesterday, we thought "finally, she's being kicked out!" A party was beginning to take form in my head. Invitations would have to go out, calls made, Crazy Mary stories gathered.

Closer inspection this morning revealed the letter to be a notice from the local Heights public library branch alerting her to the arrival of her requested copy of Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

I mentally cancelled the party, recalled the unread evites in my head. "Nevermind the barbecue fixins," I told my imaginary grocery store cashier, "party's off." But even in my head, the cashier gives me attitude.

VMA/Birthday Bash in Las Vegas

9 days 'til Vegas birthday bash...

Good gravy. Last night we discovered our Vegas arrival coincides with the big Mtv Video Music Awards (VMA).

This trip just got REAL interesting.

The VMAs will be held at the at the too-cool-for-the-hoi-polloi celeb hangout The Palms Hotel and Casino.

Who needs Cirque Du Soleil tickets? EVERY casino in town will be crawling with drunk record execs and teenage groupies wearing next to nothing on the hunt for Fall Out Boy. As every seasoned Las Vegas visitor knows, the Palms and Hard Rock will be THE celeb hotspots. What do you expect from a casino that features a restaurant called The Pink Taco?

So that got me thinking: What if you, Joe Nascar, wished to stay at one of the two hottest celeb-ground-zero mega-casinos in town:

• HARD ROCK: Rooms at the Hard Rock START at $399 that Sunday night (though the $519 room is really more desirable since it faces REHAB, their infamous pool facilities where Pamela Anderson just might get drunk enough to remove her top).


• PALMS: And you can forget about staying at the Palms. I called. It's so sold out that the reservationist laughed at me.

Anyway, I am so taking lots of pics of rock stars behaving badly, celebutards and their entourages, and the army of paparazzi following every.last.one of them.

Once we were in Vegas during a big Fight Night at the MGM, and it was the BEST people-watching ever. The casinos were infested with these super-hoochies in DESIGNER cheap-looking clothes, appearing bored while they fed their special $25 coins into the slot machines. And there was this uber-pimp decked out like a cowboy walking fast with a trail of statuesque gorgeous callgirls literally running in their stilletos trying to keep up with him (lesson: a pimp waits for no one).

I'm a big fan of observing peculiar human behavior, so if the people-watching is ANYTHING like fight night, the people-watching alone will be the BEST birthday present I could ever ask for.

Cultivating my secret hobby

Warning:
I would like to work on cultivating my secret hobby: I like to follow people I know around town.

If you spot me following you, just ignore me and let me do my thing.

I may follow you to the grocery store, watch you do your grocery shopping.

I may follow you to the bookstore, and interview the cashier about your purchase.

I may follow you to the movie theater, sit a couple of rows behind you and observe what parts of the movie you laugh at.

I promise not to follow you into the restroom or a dressing room, however.

Summer Restlesness: August Series

Trend spotting: Houston becomes collectively restless every August. And I am no exception.
This Saturday features the annual Heights White Linen Night:

Lemme tell ya a little something about white linen: I don't think I've ever owned a stitch of anything made of white linen. I used to think it was because I was a poor New Orleanian. But now that I'm not poor, I STILL don't own any white linen. So it turns out it's NOT a socio-economic thing, it's a "taste" thing.

Perhaps I'll show up wearing something dark and non-breathable instead, like a dark-colored polyester leisure suite or something.